Reconciliation is Worth the Endeavor

Written  Tuesday, March 25th 2008 – Posted Monday, March 31st 2008

Reconciliation is Worth the Endeavor

My Daddy died yesterday afternoon and I feel no guilt or regret, only loss.  Why only loss?  Because of the great gift of reconciliation.  Like any child, when I was young I had problems with my Dad.  He was a great Dad at times, a good Dad at time, and a not so good Dad at times, in my view anyway.  Yet, many years ago I was able to deal with any differences we had between us due to the choices he made while rearing me, the choices he made regarding my relationship with him as an adult, the choices he made in his relationships with my siblings and most importantly the choices I made.  No relationship is perfect!  No parent – child relationship is perfect!  Therefore, at some point and time in our lives, if we wish to be able to live truly free of any guilt or regret, where our parents are concerned, reconciliation of any and all differences must take place.  I thank my God and my Daddy that all such reconciliation[s] had taken place  prior to 4:00 pm yesterday when my dear 76-year-old Daddy went to see Jesus face to face.  I want this to be true for others out there who need to reconcile some issues with a parent while they still have an opportunity.  Therefore, this essay will be on the topic of reconciliation.  Feel free to apply the principals to any key relationships in your life. 

Let me first make a proclamation.  I realize that there are many individuals out there who have been severely mistreated and abused by the very people who were given the task of caring for and loving these individuals.  Wounded-ness and brokenness caused by those we love can be the most difficult to reconcile and overcome.  Yet, we can if we will trust ourselves into God’s care.  I have suffered my fair share of a variety of abuse and mistreatment at the hands of parents, a deceased first husband, friends, spiritual leaders, sibling, and family friends.  The gory details are not important to our purpose here and I only reveal that these abuses have taken place so my readers will understand that I DO UNDERSTAND, CARE, and SYMPATHIZE, with what you may have gone through.  Believe me freedom and relief from your pain is possible through love, acceptance of the past, and reconciliation, as is possible, for the relationships. 

God gave us a great example of reconciliation in the form of sending His Son Jesus to die on the cross for our sin so that reconciliation with Him could take place through acceptance of Jesus’ act on our behalf.  That reconciliation took struggle, pain, heartache, effort, acceptance, courage, strength, grace, and love.  All forms of reconciliation take about the same characteristics. It is so vitally important however.  Jesus told us in the book of Matthew just how important.

  23“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24“leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:23,24 [Jesus speaking]

To Jesus reconciliation was so important that He wanted it to take place before we even began to worship.  How many people do you know who go to church each Sunday with many problems between them and others.  For that matters how many spiritual leaders stand in the pulpit with un-reconciled problems with people, even people of their own congregation.  This ought not be so and Jesus made that plain.  We should make every attempt, that we have control over, to reconcile with people. There are those who will not allow us to reconcile with them per say and there are those who are dead.  In those cases we work through reconciliation on our end and bring it to the best conclusion we possibly can; until we find real peace with God over the matter. 

Through the definition of the words “be reconciled” we will look at exactly what Jesus was asking us to do in this verse. 

1259.    diallavssw diallassoµ, dee-al-las´-so; from 1223 and 236; to change thoroughly, i.e. (ment.) to conciliate:— reconcile.
1223.    diav dia, dee-ah´; a primary prep. denoting the channel of an act; through (in very wide applications, local, causal, or occasional):— after, always, among, at, to avoid, because of (that), briefly, by, for (cause) … fore, from, in, by occasion of, of, by reason of, for sake, that, thereby, therefore, × though, through (-out), to, wherefore, with (-in). In composition it retains the same general import.
236.    ajllavssw allassoµ, al-las´-so; from 243; to make different:— change

We are asked to do our part in bringing things about between us and another we have problems with, which will thoroughly change the situation between us.  Despite the nature of our relationship or depth of our relationship we are to do our part to see that we change that relationship into one characterized by peace, love, and godliness.  The degree of contact we have with the person should not be a factor either.  We can be reconciled with another in a godly manner but not have regular contact with them.  Yet, if we are unable to have any contact with them we are not yet reconciled with them. A difficult or hostile relationship must be changed into a relationship of grace and peace.  Only then can we worship with a clean heart.  Only then can another pass from this life to another and us be free from regret or guilt. 

I urge you, for your own sake, to make peace, which is to be reconciled, with anyone you have dissension with.  Do it now, one day it might be too late!



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